I’m one of those people that if often labeled “passionate.” I’m okay with that because it’s often true, but I only get passionate about a few, choice things, even if those things are on a perpetual carrousel. That comes with being a Jill of all trades and a master of none, I suppose.
One of the things that I am very passionate about is relationships. You’re surprised, right?
Haha. I thought not.
What I mean to say is really this: I value people taking the time to make relationships work. That’s not to say that all relationships are worth working on. Sometimes breakups and divorce just need to happen. I learned that the hard way during my training as a therapist.
I love to write about relationships beyond the initial lust stage. Lust is easy. We fall head over heels in love and go crazy for each other, but then things change. Relationships get harder. We have to start compromise and negotiation to see how to fit two different lives together. I love this part when I write. I love this part in my own relationship with my husband too. We’ve been together since 1992 and not all those years were happy. Some were complete shit, to be honest, but we are together, growing and changing and finding new ways to fit with each other still.
My first novel, Fall Into You was about finding ways to get past that initial attraction and work through those really challenging times to come out the other end still loving each other, even if it wasn’t the same as how it started. I find more value in that then the quick attraction that could easily disintegrate into nothingness, even if we never see that on the page.
My soon to come NorthStar trilogy explores some of this as well. More than the long term relationship, it really looks at how to keep a relationship going in spite of very stressful life events. It’s not always easy, but when the love is still there, I think it’s worth fighting for, no matter what.
Is fighting for long term love as exciting as maintaining a relationship? Maybe not, but in the end, I think it’s far more valuable. What do you think?