“Why do you write that?”
I know I’m not the only female M/M romance writer to get that question. I’ve gotten it from super close friends more often than people who barely know me, though I recently got it from my seat mate on a plane too.
It’s not an easy answer, at least not one that can be thrown out with a sassy quip, as much as I wish it could be. That would mean I didn’t answer the question truthfully.
“Why not?” is the answer I often hear from other M/M writers. It’s quicker than what I’m about to say, that’s for sure. I’ve even answered that way to be done with the conversation, but maybe I just need to make my response a list for quicker reading. Yes. Here we go! I’m sure it will be far from complete.
- When I write M/M romance, I get to put blinders on to all the misogyny M/F romance novels glorify. I don’t have to step anywhere near the rape culture prevalent in romance that pretty much makes me want to hurl. With M/M romance I’m dealing with characters who have equal power, even if they truly don’t. They are often better matched physically, but the social mores are in place to not have a victim just because of perceived weakness unless I choose for there to be a victim, which I do, on occasion. But guess what? That’s my choosing, not societal pressure, not gender stereotypes, and certainly not because of the way our bodies have developed after ages of evolution!
- Men together are fricking beautiful. I love the male body and the struggle so many men have between being too hard and too soft. Get your mind out of the gutter! I’m not talking turgor pressure in their cocks. I’m talking about men feeling they need to be masculine but wanting to give into some of those “feminine” desires. Again, this goes back to the misogyny thing. How about letting people be who they feel they need to be?
- Social issues. Being a social scientist, I love to look at how people are treated in society. The M/M romance genre allows me the opportunity to hit on so many relevant issues. If I can make just one person in this world stop to think twice about their assumptive beliefs, I’ve done my job. I changed my 70-something-year-old mom’s mind. I can change anyones. (I really don’t have a God complex, I’m just hopeful.)
- I get to freely use words like cock and taint and balls and rimming and all sorts of yummy words that have so many wonderful meanings/actions. What can be wrong with that?
- This might be simple, but I do love men. I love the way men smell and feel. I love the scritch of stubble on my skin and the musk of sweat that only comes with a man. I love writing about a man losing his sense of reservation when he finally allows another man to slide a finger in his ass and when he enjoys the vulnerability he experiences from that. I especially love it when that man lets go enough to let himself enjoy something he’s been told for ages is shameful. How many of us women have been told having an orgasm or even enjoying sex was shameful? We are kindred spirits with our gay brethren. We understand each other in a unique way.
That’s far from a complete list, but it’s at least a start to get us talking.
What do you love about M/M romance? I really wanna hear!